Hello, I’m K.L. Brady, the author of The Bum Magnet. If you’re reading this right now, that means you’ve read the book or someone you know has read the book and you’re checking to see what new and wonderful things we have in store for this blog. Well, I’ll tell you. We’re going to begin hosting group sessions to discuss relationship issues covered in the novel and in life in general. The unique thing about this blog is that it will feature key members from The Bum Magnet cast who will discuss relationship problems during group sessions. Participants will include: Nisey, Rissey, Kevin, and Lamar. Charisse’s mother and David may stop in from time to time as their schedules allow. I’ll be the moderator and my job will be to keep everyone on track in the discussions and ensure that everyone remains respectful.
So, everyone. I’m going to begin with a fun icebreaker to loosen everyone up. Please introduce yourselves and finish this sentence: If any star could play me in a movie, it would be…
Nisey: Ahem, well I guess I’ll get this party started, right? I’m Nisey, Denise, ummm…Rissey’s…I mean Charisse’s best friend. We’ve known each other for 20-something years and are as close as two friends can be. We're really family. Let me see… Who would I want to play me? It needs to be somebody who can play a strong sista with a little attitude. Ooh, ooh, I know. Maybe Taraji P. Henson or, uhhh, what’s that chick’s name? You know, the one that played in Why Did I Get Married? Tasha something. I loved her line at dinner, “No, you didn’t get it from Keisha, you got it from Walter. I got my shot I was just waitin’ for you to say something. Boom!”
Rissey: Yeah, I could definitely see Taraji or Tasha playing your crazy ass. Smart and sassy with a small side of ghetto.
Nisey: Ha ha ha.
Rissey: Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Charisse or as Nisey calls me, Rissey. And I'm The Bum Magnet . . . or atleast I used to be. I can’t even imagine who would play me. Most of the popular actresses are too bony. I don’t know…maybe Jill Scott or Queen Latifah could pull it off. What’s her name from Love and Basketball might be good, but she’d need to eat a boat load of Twinkies first. Hmmm, that’s tough, I don’t know. But I DO know who I want to play my Kevin. That dude Sheriff Troy from Why Did I Get Married? Or Marcellus Wiley, the former defensive lineman. Ummm Yummy! I don’t know if Marcellus can act but I’d just like to look at him. I mean, uhhh, I’m kiddin’, baby. You know I’m playin’.
Kevin: Ummmhmmm. Yeah, right. You ain’t playin’ and you know it. I still love you though.
Rissey: Yes, I am, baby. You know you rock my world. You da man!
Kevin: Okay, okay. Easy on the syrup. Anyway, I’m Kevin, Charisse’s, uhhh, what am I?
Rissey: You don’t know? That ain’t what you said last night when you—
Kevin: Shhhhhh…Okay, I’m Charisse’s man. Lemme see. Who would I want to play me in a movie? I think, uhhh, Lamar what’s dude’s name from The Brothers? Something Walnut…
Lamar: Morris Chestnut.
Kevin: Yeah, that’s it. Morris Chestnut. Seems like there ain’t but five actors in Hollywood . He plays in everything.
Lamar: Yeah, the black actors are on a seriously short rotation. Oh, I’m Lamar, by the way. I’m Charisse’s ex from waaaay back in the day. We’re just friends now. She’s chillin’ with my man Kevin here. You know, I seriously don’t know who would play me. I haven’t seen too many “light-skinnededed” brothers with hazel eyes in the movies lately. What do you think, Charisse?
Charisse: Why you askin’ me? I don’t know. Hmmm… ooh, maybe that guy who got his butt whooped with the belt in This Christmas.
Lamar: He doesn’t have hazel eyes, does he?
Charisse: He doesn’t need to. Can you say, “colored contact lenses?”
Lamar: True that. True.
Moderator: Well, I think that’s good enough to get us started, don’t you guys? I think it’s time to get to the nitty gritty. So, I thought we’d lead off our relationship discussions off with a topic that I think touches on a key issue in the book: Is it ever okay to spy on your significant other?
Nisey: Yes, next topic!
Moderator: We’ll go into this further in the next discussion. I’m sure the men will have plenty to say on this issue.