Lamar: Okay, I want to start because I have personal experience with this issue. Don’t I, Charisse?
Nisey: Oh NO you DIDN’T.
Nisey: How about you men stop running around doing shit you ain’t got no business doing? If you’re so unhappy that you feel like you need to run around and screw somebody else, why not just break up with your girlfriend? That would be better than sneaking around behind somebody’s back. Catching diseases and bringing that shit home to somebody that loves you. What the hell is that?
Lamar: Listen, I get where you’re coming from, Denise. I’m the last person to sit here and say you’re wrong. I just feel like women don’t spy because they’re trying to a reason to leave you, because most of the time they don’t. They spy to find something to blackmail you with. Hold it over your head. Use it to get what they want when they want it. They use it to control men. That’s what they do.
Kevin: Well, I say what kind of relationship can you really have if you don’t trust each other. That goes for both sides. If you don’t trust each other, you can’t be happy. And if you’re not happy, then why would you want to be with that person anyway? It’s a waste of time and energy.
Charisse: I agree with Kevin. As a reformed spy, I know that I wasted a lot of energy and time checking behind men I thought were playing around. But I think Lamar is wrong. I don’t think women spy because they are looking for blackmail material. I think a lot of women spy because we are hoping beyond hope that we don’t find anything. We want to feel stupid for looking for something that wasn’t there. We want to settle our thoughts down so we can get back to loving.
David: Well, I think a key issue here is truth. Whatever y’all say, I don’t know any man who would just come out and tell his girlfriend the truth about cheating or finding interest in another woman, right? So, how is a woman supposed to find out who she’s really dealing with if she doesn’t spy?
Nisey: See? That’s right, boo. Tell ‘em!
David: But I also say that if she has enough reason to be suspicious, she’s probably right. So, why waste your time. Kick ‘em to the curb and keep it movin’.
Lamar: True that.
Charisse: Ummmhmmmm, that easy to say. Why is that when we try to leave, y’all start begging us not to go? That’s what I want to know. If you’re screwing around, go on to the heifer you’re cheating with and let us go. But y’all ain’t going to do that because you don’t want no body else gettin’ in our asses, that’s why. Men are inherently selfish, and women are inherently nurturers. This allows men to play on our emotions and get away with a lot of stuff, including cheating.
Kevin: Oh no YOU didn’t.
Charisse: I didn’t mean you, baby. You know you my boo.
David to Moderator: When do you jump in? When there’s bloodshed?
Moderator: I’m sorry. I was so engaged in the discussion I forgot to moderate. So, let’s see where we are. I think we generally agree that spying is a waste of time.
Everyone: Right, right.
Moderator: And if I’m understanding everyone correctly, if you have enough reason to be suspicious, you probably have enough reason to leave.
Nisey: That sounds about right to me.
Lamar: Yeah, I would agree with that.
Moderator: Okay, this was a fantastic start to our hot discussion series. Since I think we need to keep it hot, the next topic will be: Is there ever a good reason to cheat on your spouse or significant other?
Nisey: You better have the police standing by for this discussion. Somebody’s gonna get hurt up in here.
Rissey: I know THAT's right.