Wednesday, August 31, 2011

He Said, We said--She Wants Me, She Wants Me Not

She Said...

Dear Rissey and Nisey,

Beautiful girl I work with approached me 6 months ago. She was in a long relationship prior to this and told me in our first conversation. Guy was cheater and a druggie apparently.

We had a date, made out and she was smiling alot at the end but during the date kind of looked a bit bored. A week later she insisted on coming around my house on my birthday and gave me a card but didn't come inside and left after a make out session.

After this, the girl called my every morning for 2 months straight and we got on so well but never went on another date and made excuses plus was off from work. After a minor disagreement(work colleagues got between us) she tells me she doesn't want to continue and we can be friends.

Eventually I saw her at work, she would flirt with me and we would walk about together like a couple. So for 6 months we been "together" at work and she will lecture me sometimes like she is my girl, gets jealous and trys to make me jealous and flirts with me(allows me to put my hands allover her butt) and it appears that there is some kind of feeling there(tears in her eyes around me) but she won't say how feels.

Few weeks ago she started sending dirty txts to me at 4 am saying she was wet/horny after this she went quiet again. Weeks ago I tried to kiss her and she went red and put her chin down and laughed. I tried asking her about us and she changes the subject and right now it doesn't feel the same between us because she put a picture of her and another guy as her facebook pic but says she just went on a date with him. I've seen the sweet way she looks at me, almost like she adores me, if I'm not right for her why does she still contact me?


She Wants Me, She Wants Me Not

We Said...

Dear She Wants Me Not,

We hate to break it to you, buddy, but our diagnosis is grim. You're a seat filler. In Hollywood, seat fillers are the peoople who attend award shows and when the stars leave their seats to use the bathroom or don't show up at all, seat fillers sit in the empty chairs so the audience doesn't have gaping holes in it when the cameras pan by.

In relationships, seat fillers are people we hang out with, date, and get affection and ego boosts from while we're waiting for the guy we can REALLY get interested in. The worst part about being a seat filler is that you're the only one who doesn't know you're a seat filler which allows you to be used and tossed aside by your mate. Sad to say, it's mostly the "nice guys" and "nice girls" who get victimized this way--mostly because they ALLOW it. They don't value themselves enough to expect more.

Get off the love short bus, honey! There are two sides to this coin. You want the girl who doesn't want you. She's using you as a seat filler until she can find the guy she really wants. If she really wanted you to be her man, you would be her man...and you'd have no doubt about it.

You really want this girl? You're going to have to play bad boy. Ignore her. Don't call her. Don't compliment her. Brush her off. Avoid her at all costs. And don't fall for any of her tricks meant to keep you on the hook. You have to appear as if you're over her for her to get into you. Very sad--but these are the the games seat fillers must play.

Your other option is to find another girl who will want you and accept you as you are. One who appreciates you for who you are and isn't so self-serving to use you to fill the empty spaces in HER life, rather she honors you so much that she wants to fill the empty spaces in YOURS.

Regardless of what path you take, you need to value yourself more, understand your worth, and don't entertain any woman who doesn't do the same.

If you have relationship issues you'd like us to address, please write us at

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