She Said, We Said--My Boyfriend's Dating

She said...

Dear Rissey and Nisey,

So I was looking at the history trail on my boyfriend's laptop which I know I shouldn't really do and found he had been on sexintheuk.com. I clicked on it and he was still logged on. He has a picture of himself on there but his age his wrong he hasn't paid to be a full member. I'm guessing though because the payment screen came up.

I looked in his inbox on the site and there was two messages from girls living in a place where his friend lives, and he goes to stay with him alot! That has worried me!! It wouldn't let me view the messages though! I know that he has signed up for this recently because the picture he has on there is one of me and him that was taken at Christmas time. Obviously he has cropped me out and that hurts a lot too, that he's using a picture that was of us two! He hasn't filled in a lot of his profile but he's clicked a section on sex and discreet relationships.

I know men like to look at other women. I know they watch porn etc and I don't like it but I accept it because they are human! And I wouldn't have been too bothered about seeing this dating website if it did not have his picture on because there is a lot of porn type pics on there. I would have just figured he was looking at those but the fact that he's got his pic on there says he wants to act on meeting someone doesn't it?! I'm so upset. I love this guy more than anything in the world, we've been together three years. I'm so hurt right now, just looking for some advice! x


Signed

My Boyfriend's Trying to Date

We Said...

Dear Boyfriend's Trying to Date,

Something tells me you know the answer. Otherwise, why would you be checking the history trail in the first place, huh? You have your detective hat on, the same one women have been donning for centuries because you know in your heart something is wrong...very wrong. The problem is you're looking to answer a question you already know the answer to. And you found exactly what you were looking for!! Now the answer's in your face and the only real problem here is you just don't want to acknowledge that the man you're so deeply in love with could be a lying, cheating, S.O.B! It's one thing to window shop, and an entirely different thing to window shop with money in your pocket (i.e., set up a profile and accept emails). He's trying to make his fantasies a reality...and what's really important is he's not trying to do that with you.

Get off the love short bus honey! Time for you to crop him out of YOUR picture and find someone who loves and respects you. Respects you enough not to be hunting down other women while you're supposed to be in a committed relationship. Respects you enough to put your feelings first. Forget him and his so-called need to see a little porn. YOU DESERVE MORE!

Obviously, he has no intention of leaving...at least not yet. And if you confront him, he's gonna beg you not to leave. Give him the hand and pack your bags honey. Don't hang on because you've invested so much time and energy. Let go, and make a place for the man who will treat you right! Better to waste three years than four! Better to hurt a little bit now, then a lot for a lifetime!

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